The Hypocrite in the Mirror
Nobody wants to be called a hypocrite because nobody likes hypocrites. Yet the reality is we’ve all been hypocritical at some point, and many of us continue to be without even realizing it. I am no exception. In fact, my own hypocrisy is precisely what led me to walk away from the so-called JQ movement after 14 years.
I am a philosopher. I have always sought truth and wanted to understand the world. I jumped into the political fight because of the truths I discovered, and I shared them when it wasn’t popular or easy to do so because I felt I had a duty. But somewhere along the way, I became more of an entertainer than a truth-teller. I gave people what they wanted to hear about their enemies while avoiding what they needed to hear about themselves. I told myself it was to prevent “infighting” and “drama,” but that was just a convenient excuse. The truth is, it was easier. And easier is rarely honest.
That is the definition of hypocrisy.
The Movement That Ate Itself
I’m not alone in this. Once money entered “the fight,” it corrupted nearly everyone with influence. Instead of telling their followers the truths they needed to hear, influencers told them what they wanted to hear to keep the donations coming in.
Influencers are supposed to influence their followers, not the other way around. But I began to see allies grifting off the most ridiculous conspiracy theories imaginable, charlatans playing the role of truth-tellers while being anything but, and people who claimed to be warriors turning out to be frauds and, in some cases, literal criminals.
This is not what I signed up for. And the saddest part is that their followers enabled it because they didn’t want to be challenged. They wanted to feel righteous. They wanted an enemy to point at. As long as the enemy was out there, they never had to look inward.
That is hypocrisy, too.
I tried to keep my mouth shut about all of this for as long as I could. But once the opportunism became unbearable, I went off. And I’m glad I did.
The Hardest Truth in the Mirror
I’m the kind of person who constantly self-reflects and adjusts in order to improve. Many see this as instability. But staying the course when the course is wrong isn’t strength; it’s cowardice dressed up as consistency.
The masses, by and large, don’t think about improving. They focus on feeling good and maintaining the status quo so they can live comfortably in their comfort zones. They don’t follow people; they follow emotions. Many influencers either don’t know this or forget it. The masses can be seduced, but they are also seductive. Their kind words and support can feed your ego and suck you into the same fantasies you are supposed to lead them away from.
Once I realized this was happening to me, I could no longer pretend my activism still had value. I could no longer identify with it; doing so would have been the epitome of fraud. So I made the only honest decision I could: change course.
Predictably, people have been calling it betrayal. They are still angry about it and resorting to name-calling. Some are appealing to conspiracies, thinking I “got the call.” What they don’t understand is that I genuinely don’t care what they think. They assume everyone is as consumed by the opinions of others as they are. I outgrew that long ago. To believe that anonymous insults could affect a man who served twice in Iraq and stood up against the most well-organized mafia on earth before it was safe or profitable to do so is, frankly, laughable.
Where This Leaves Me
I have three sides: the warrior, the jester, and the sage. For years I tried to pick one to fit in and unite people for the greater good. But I am all three. I don’t fit in, and I never will.
And what is good about trying to fit in with people if you have to be someone you’re not for their sake? That means you’re in the wrong crowd.
And what is this so-called greater good? What is good about enabling weakness, cowardice, and hypocrisy?
Going forward, my goal is to show people the error of their ways not by ranting at them like I did as a drill instructor but by helping them understand like a sage. The jester also has his place: make people laugh, and they open up to you more. Harsh truths can be delivered in a light-hearted way. Most people are not malicious, just misinformed. Not evil, just ignorant. The best way is to teach, not degrade.
One of the most powerful quotes I learned years ago but hypocritically dismissed is from the Tao Te Ching, when Lao Tzu said:
If a person seems wicked, do not cast him away. Awaken him with your words, elevate him with your deeds, repay his injury with your kindness. Do not cast him away; cast away his wickedness.
Why did I not live up to this when I knew better? Simple: I was too busy being a warrior, trying to destroy everything rather than have the patience of a sage. I gave into the crowd when I should have never done so. I was blinded by my ego, thinking I was doing good when I was also doing harm.
I fought in the darkness for a long time. I’ve been to hell and back. I've seen death and destruction with my own eyes. Now it’s time to step into the light.
The truth about this world should never be hidden or denied, but it also cannot be the sole focus every single day. It is too much to bear. Most people are not warriors; they are just trying to get by.
The hardest person to call a hypocrite is yourself. But it’s the only call that actually changes anything.
There is no problem discovering that you are being one, but there is a problem if you continue to be one after you do.
As Archbishop Fulton J Sheen said, love the sinner, hate the sin(s)
This post is a textbook lesson in lack of self-awareness and shirking the self-examined life and accountability, while attempting to feign self-examination and accountability. Let's do a little psychological breakdown of some of your statements.
1.) "I am a philosopher." ... "I’m the kind of person who constantly self-reflects and adjusts in order to improve." ... "I have three sides: the warrior, the jester, and the sage." ... "my goal is to show people the error of their ways not by ranting at them like I did as a drill instructor but by helping them understand like a sage."
-- This is pure self-important ego pumping and a form of attempted postured authority. A true philosopher rarely, if ever, has to claim he is a philosopher. A true philosopher is generally defined by their *active engagement* with wisdom and truth seeking rather than the assertion of a title or talking about how much they *like* truth seeking. Historically and practically, the distinction lies in the shift from identifying as a "sage" (one who knows) to a "philosopher" (one who loves and seeks wisdom). Constantly labeling yourself a "philosopher" or "sage" is the opposite of what a philosopher would do. Continually telling people you are a philosopher is pretentious and self-aggrandizing because it implies that you believe you have a special level of wisdom that the very definition of philosophy (loving wisdom, not necessarily possessing) seeks to avoid. Meanwhile you speak as if all others are beneath you and YOU must show them the "errors of their ways." You would be wise to consider Socrates: "I know that I am intelligent, because I know that I know nothing."
2.) "I gave people what they wanted to hear about their enemies while avoiding what they needed to hear about themselves." ... "This is not what I signed up for. And the saddest part is that their followers enabled it because they didn’t want to be challenged." ... "And what is good about trying to fit in with people if you have to be someone you’re not for their sake?" ... "my goal is to show people the error of their ways" ... "Most people are not malicious, just misinformed. Not evil, just ignorant." ... "I gave into the crowd when I should have never done so."
-- These statements are a psychological mess. For one, it is a massive shirking of accountability by blaming all of your previous behavior/words on anyone but yourself. Look what you're saying: It's "the people" that made you do it. You only did it because it's "what THEY wanted to hear." It wasn't you, it was the FOLLOWERS who "enabled it," because those silly ignoramuses "didn't want to be challenged." You only did it "for THEIR sake." It's that silly audience who just don't know any better because they are "just misinformed. Not evil, just ignorant." It was THEIR fault and you only "gave into the crowd." Way to take absolutely ZERO ownership. This psychological tactic is called Externalization of Agency. By claiming you only acted "radically" because that’s "what people wanted," you are stripping yourself of personal responsibility and placing the blame on others. A core tenet of most philosophical traditions—from Stoicism to Existentialism—is radical personal accountability. Blaming the "mob" or "audience" for one's own voluntary rants/words/behavior is, ironically, a very unphilosophical position. And you call yourself a philosopher. It's also just egregious audience gaslighting. And then, while doing this you have the audacity to assume that YOU are even remotely qualified to "show people the error of their ways" when you can't even properly acknowledge the error of your own ways. Instead, you abandon your values and engage in what's known as the Enlightened Pivot, where you use the *title* of "philosopher" as a shield. "Uh, you see, I was always *really* a philosopher, but you people didn't want it and weren't ready for it, so I gave you what YOU wanted." It frames your past volatility and words/behavior not as a lack of self-control or being unenlightened, but as an "experiment" or a "performance" you've now "evolved beyond." It’s an attempt to trade notoriety for authority, and those of us who are actual students of philosophy can see it a mile away.
"It is the act of an ill-educated person to cast blame on others when things are going badly for him." — Epictetus
"There are more fake gurus and false teachers in this world than the number of stars in the visible universe. ... A genuine spiritual master will not direct your attention to himself ... but instead will help you to appreciate and admire your inner self. ” — Shams Tabrizi
And then the cherry on top of all this is that you blame the JQ movement. It was "the money" coming in that's ruining it. It's the "influencers" that are ruining it. It's the ignorant masses that are ruining it. Never mind its exponential growth and the sheer numbers of people noticing and awakening not seen in 70 years. No, that doesn't matter. It's all a BIG conspiracy now that Lucas isn't a "main guy" so you had to walk away. The translation here is that you viewed yourself as a big fish in a little pond, and liked it, but now that the little pond has become an ocean, you're realizing you're just another fish, so you're stomping your feet, taking your ball and going home to play "philosopher" and "sage." This is not a good look for you.
"To be a philosopher, that is to say, a lover of wisdom (for wisdom is nothing but truth), it is not enough for a man to love truth, in so far as it is compatible with his own interest ... so long as he rests content with this position, he is only a philautos, not a philosophos [a lover of self, not a lover of wisdom]." — Arthur Schopenhauer